Andy hung up the phone. He just got off yet another pointless, meandering call with management. They wanted him to sit in on a job interview next week. "We're looking for a ninja," they said. "A real agile worker. A wizard. A guru. Someone who can do whatever we need them to do, whenever we need them to do it. A Jack of all trades who's not afraid to put his nose to the grindstone." He's seen this before. They're going to hire an intern and make them do what should be the work of 3 people. Why are they always shocked when these people quit?
"Hey, Andy!" It was a familiar voice. Andy turned his attention. It was Walt, the accounting supervisor. "Don't forget, we're having a potluck lunch today. Make sure you're there. Brittany is making her famous taco salad!"
Andy winced at the mention of Brittany's cooking. She was a nice enough lady, but that taco salad? Fritos would be a nice touch if she didn't drench the whole platter in French dressing. The flavors don't match up and the texture of soggy Fritos reminds him of dog vomit. "Oh, cool. Thanks, Walt."
Lunch time came. Everyone gathered in the office lunchroom. The microwave was humming as it warmed up someone's... something. Andy couldn't make himself care if he wanted to. He just wanted this to be over with. Rick, the janitor, was focused intently on the coffee maker. He always had trouble with it for some reason. Finally, it finished brewing. "Oh! Coffee's up!"
Andy poured a cup. The coffee from that dirty old coffee maker was undrinkable without heaps of powdered creamer, but at least it would keep him awake. "Does anyone know what kind of coffee this place buys?" he asked.
"It comes from the paper supplier," Walt answered. "I think it's the same brand as the paper."
Andy shrugged. That's fine. Then, right on cue, Brittany showed up.
"Who's ready for taco salad?" she asked, full of enthusiasm. She set the dish down on the lunchroom table.
"I got the plates!" Rick proudly declared.
"Great!" Brittany was very excited about this. "Now how about the forks?"
"I found this package of disposable tableware from our last office party," Walt answered. He placed the box on the table next to Brittany's taco salad. The label stated that it was a box of Cheap-O Brand Mixed Disposable Cutlery.
Brittany excitedly dug through the box, but was soon disappointed. "There's no forks in here. It's all knives and spoons."
"No forks?" Rick was shocked. "But there were forks in it last time!"
"Yeah, but we ran out," said Andy. "Remember? That's why I sent out an email, telling everyone that someone needs to bring more forks."
"Oh," Brittany sighed. "Well, let's look and see what we can find."
Andy rolled his eyes and stepped out. The others searched every cabinet in the lunchroom to see if they could find forks. Walt found coffee stirs and suggested using them like chopsticks. Nobody could tell if he was serious or joking. After a few minutes, Andy was back.
"Alright. I knew this might happen, so I stopped at Dollarpalooza on the way over and bought a box of forks." He tossed a box of disposable tableware onto the table. Brittany quickly snatched it up and examined it. Her brow furrowed as she read the label.
"Andy."
"What?"
"These are spoons."